


starbright

by orphan_account



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-05
Updated: 2016-11-05
Packaged: 2018-08-29 01:27:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8470351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: there’s this whole deal about how you find your soulmate, but donghyuck’s already got his. the problem lies in admitting it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> unbeta'd so u point out typos if ya see em.

it’s not really a defined science (or even really a science), the whole soulmates thing is just this big dash of undefined. circled and underlined for good measure, no one knows how it works because it just doesn’t. there’s theories on the internet that say it’s a conspiracy plot by capitalists to get consumers to spend money on the concept, there’s a couple hundred blogs that say it’s the work of aliens so they can observe human relationships before killing everyone- donghyuck’s personal favourite, and there’s a few youtube channels dedicated to how soulmates are a gift to make up for the rest of life’s shittiness. but in truth, no one really knows anything about soulmates. no one except for donghyuck.

-

before he was ten, there was always this faraway feeling whenever someone asked about his soulmate. it’s weird, asking an eight year old about his soulmate but that’s always been the most interesting thing about him. he’s just _known._

most people don’t know their soulmates, and it’s not even a matter of meeting them- it’s just one day the switch clicks and they realize this person’s _the one._ donghyuck’s always had his switch on. he (before ten) can’t tell you a name, or a place or hair colour. but he can name five of their favourite foods- because sometimes he just looks at things and he _knows._ he can tell you least favourite tv show because it’s _his_ favourite and he knows his soulmate doesn’t like his taste in shows. and he can tell you that they’re 9 months and 4 days apart in age (he’s the younger one).

again, just _because._ he doesn’t know _how_ he knows, he just knows and it just makes sense to him. mark has crappy handwriting and he raps underneath his breath the same way donghyuck sings to fill the space, and the same way he’s copied his sister’s handwriting until his was just as neat. they just- fill up each other’s unoccupied space or something.

that’s how donghyuck describes it.

-

mark, by any means, isn’t his other half or an extension or himself or anything gross and lame like that. mostly, they’re friends out of convenience. two new kids in a practice room that’s known countless footsteps before theirs. it’s kinda nerve-wracking, the whole ‘you could become a star’ shebang, donghyuck hated it because he hates being nervous. but mark’s not like that, mark’s (kinda) made out of nervousness. it’s still something he dislikes; but when donghyuck was ten and standing by a wall with no one to talk to, the kid who stuttered his way through an introduction was his best option.

and, honestly most of the time mark still is his best option.

he’s the easiest to lean towards, easiest to annoy without worrying about what’s going too far, easy to talk to. even if they never agree on shows or favourite songs, they get on well. mark’s his best friend, in the gross kinda way where donghyuck wants to throw all the good things in the world at him when he’s sad. in the gross kinda way where they don’t always get along but mark’s still his first choice for everything, even if he isn’t the best.

in the gross kinda way where donghyuck likes being able to guess random things about mark, just because.

-

they know they’re soulmates when they meet. donghyuck knows because there’s always been an _muh_ sound whenever he’s tried to think of a name and he knows mark knows just because of the way he looks at him. surprise, no shock. like he hadn't been expecting to find his soulmate so soon, like he'd figured it'd be someone like donghyuck anyways.

donghyuck’s the same way. but he doesn't say anything, only continues to introduce himself.

neither of them say anything.

-

neither of them _have_ said anything.

for good reason too, they're gonna be idols. they _are_ idols, you can't have a soulmate with their kind of life. this donghyuck knew, but it's always just been at the back of his mind. he doesn't realize it _until_ he meets mark. his soulmate _can't_ be mark because his soulmate _can_ be anyone _._ the twisted irony of fame.

all the stuff in movies and tv and blog posts titled “day 521 with my soulmate”- he and mark can't have that. won't have that. not in an industry that requires you to be single, not when they've both signed a contract that says the company decides how you interact with your soulmate. not with this life.

not _in_ this life.

-

in some alternative universe, or maybe the life after this- he’s mark’s boyfriend, and they're together-together and whatever brought them together isn't what's keeping them apart.

-

donghyuck hates the irony of it sometimes.

-

one of the better versions of this fantasy include a dog, lots of movie theatre dates because donghyuck thinks they're the best kind (even if he's never been on one), and hand-holding. because sometimes he sees mark stretching his fingers after gripping a mic for too tight and he just wants to reach out.

in this version, mark loses his dog- a small labrador with curly brown hair, and finds donghyuck at a park playing with it.

in this version, when they get into a fight- mark’s dog runs off again and donghyuck’s the one who shows up at his door holding a wet puppy, eyes just as big.

what brings them together keeps them together.

-

sometimes, he thinks it's clever.

-

in real life, donghyuck shoves and elbows mark. picks fun at him the most and cackles when he gets what he wants because mark is _always_ easy.

in real life, they're best friends who fight like r2d2 and c-3po. they bicker over who gets the better controller and who’s turn it is to get water. they have competitions over everything, races to who gets to the practice room, the dorm, the convenience store faster. how many times donghyuck can beat mark in every single level of mario kart before the random choice thing lands on rainbow road, and mark kicks him off the track nine times before getting first place.

in real life, mark’s the breath collapsing beside him after too many runs of a dance. he's the one handing over his ice packet when donghyuck loses his balance on his hoverboard for the nth time. he's the one who works the hardest out of all of them and as much as donghyuck wants to pretend mark bringing him a water bottle is special, it's _not_ because everything he does with donghyuck; he does with everyone else.

in real life, anyways.

-

when donghyuck daydreams, mark’s always in love with him.

he's the one leaving notes in donghyuck’s locker, staring at him from across the coffee shop, hoping to bump into him at every comic book store he goes to.

that's _always_ mark.

-

donghyuck wants to spend his entire life in daydreams. being an idol is too hard, too much strain on a too young body. school is too hard, too much information for a short attention span. life is too hard- too much _everything_ for someone who wants to do nothing. 

lying on his bottom bunk, lights turned off, doors and curtains closed so the room’s just light enough without being too bright. it’s the easiest thing to do always.

sometimes he goes through melon and lets it stream all the new releases through his earbuds, pretending it's just him and a playlist and nothing else.

-

in every universe, they're always soulmates because donghyuck doesn't know if they'd _be_ if they weren't.

but sometimes, they don't realize until years and years later. sometimes they don't realize at all(but the donghyuck who’s making this up in his head knows). and sometimes they're five thousand something kilometres apart and six years estranged and that’s when they realize. those times are when donghyuck’s feeling melancholy.

when he _knows_ a real life is passing by him and he's never going to figure out what he’s good for other than singing.

still, he doesn't see a choice or a trade or a fork in the road. this is his path and he's going to follow it. no more choices.

-

most of the time, donghyuck doesn't think of them being soulmates. soulmates aren't really mentioned between them, yuta once admitted he'd already met his- she was a nice girl, and he'd known her for a little bit but by then he'd already decided he was going into sm, and really he doesn't believe in soulmates.

donghyuck looks at mark and it's a bad moment because mark’s already looking at him. it's a good moment _because_ mark’s already looking at him.

they both look away with half-smiles, nothing all that real and yuta motions for the next person to speak.

later, donghyuck stays up watching the third harry potter movie in the living room, wondering what mark was thinking about.

because donghyuck’s thought was: how can you _not_ believe in soulmates? donghyuck’s practically lives in his head. mark is so, _so_ constant in his life, he really can't imagine a life without him. how can something in your heart go- _it's you,_ and still you won't believe it?

that didn't make sense to donghyuck.

-

“what were you thinking?” donghyuck asks mark when the older drags himself and his blankets onto the couch beside donghyuck. because screw this, donghyuck is three years older than hermione and if gryffindor courage can make her punch malfoy in the face, he can ask mark a damn question.

they watch up to ron getting bitten by scabbers and donghyuck knows mark's hands are clammy because they're _always_ clammy, but still he answers. “just if, yo- a someone would choose another person over their soulmate they know.”

“i mean,” donghyuck starts, harry and hermione are walking into the weeping willow. the scene’s changed to sirus black when he continues. “if they knew their soulmate well, they'd stay because- like there's a reason you’re soulmates right? you probably need to get to know the person to figure that out.”

they're both quiet after that.

really, even if mark wasn't his soulmate donghyuck would like him, probably.

probably be in love because there's just some things that are _so mark,_ donghyuck would know them without the extra soulmate intuition part. the way he tries even when he doesn't, the socks that are his because they're the newest-looking but most holey, the way he presses into the paper too hard, pen imprints always on his hand.

there's so many things about him you don't need to be soulmates to figure out- but donghyuck’s known them all since he was eight, and he _wants_ to be around to learn all of his new habits, likes, dislikes, thoughts.

donghyuck’s ideal type isn't based of the pieces of mark he's known since before he knew mark. donghyuck’s ideal type is someone _like_ mark. it's not because he knew his soulmate was going to be someone as honest and earnest as possible that he likes those types of people. those are qualities he likes, and mark has them.

it's not a coincidence, it's just how soulmates work. not the people you like best, the people who _suit_ you the best.

but donghyuck’s always been the exception to rule, he likes mark best because mark suites him best.

even when they finish the movie and mark grabs all his blankets and mumbles a _“goodnight,”_ leaving without fixing the couch pillows or turning off the tv or kitchen light.

even when that leaves donghyuck’s heart aching, leaves him feeling empty and _wanting._ because with mark there's always wanting.

-

that's not to say he always wants mark.

most of the time, he wants mark to die.

because mark’s _annoying,_ and he _nags_ and _acts like he's better than the rest of them._

“i don’t! jeez, can you stop being petty for a minute and just listen!” mark says, but they both know it's useless.

because donghyuck doesn't listen to mark when mark doesn't listen to him. and right now, neither of them care enough to do so.

it's been a bad week, donghyuck is angry and taeil sprained his ankle, taeyong snores louder than ever and _yuta,_ yuta hasn't explained why he doesn't believe in soulmates.

not that donghyuck has asked.

the point is, some weeks it feels like they never get along. like they're not even friends. mark passes his time with jaehyun and renjun and jaemin while donghyuck kills jeno in league, and jisung alternates between killing him and killing chenle.

it’s been a bad couple of days.

-

he's thinking about universes where they never meet and donghyuck doesn't know who's in his head and universes where he doesn't _care._

lives where he’s gonna grow up with broken plates and bruised wrists- because those _exist,_ that's reality for someone. he's not gonna know how to do anything but start a fight and mark is never, never, _never_ going to love him because whatever parts of donghyuck he likes, those won't be seen.

he thinks about those lives and he's so glad all of a sudden that they met because of sm entertainment and not because of foster care.

-

they're similar in certain ways though.

-

sometimes, he forgets soulmates aren't as common as he thinks.

so when doyoung asks why he likes that annoying show so much, donghyuck replies without thinking “because my soulmate doesn't.”

it's the wrong thing to say because doyoung shrieks “you know your soulmate?!”

and that makes taeyong call out from the living room. “donghyuck-ah, you have a soulmate?”

when donghyuck steps into the living room, soap suds still on his hands from washing the dishes, he makes sure to look at everyone, even mark.

“yeah?” he tries, because it's a safe answer.

and before taeyong can get very far into his next question, mark lifts a cautious hand in the air and stutters through a confession. “i- i have a soulmate too.”

from there it's chaos.

doyoung’s asking lots of pushy questions and taeyong’s worrying about the company contract, then doyoung’s yelling _something_  and yuta says _another_ thing back and they start fighting; all while taeil just looks on quietly.

the small miracles: jaehyun and sicheng are thankfully out of the house. no one needs to whisper real-time translations to sicheng about what's happening.

the better miracles: both mark and donghyuck manage to keep straight faces while bullshitting about their “soulmates.”

“uh, mine likes giraffes.” mark’s never mentioned giraffes to him.

“my soulmate's favourite colour is purple.” honestly, that's donghyuck’s _least_ favourite colour.

“you know those fuzzy sock things? my soulmate would only wear those socks when they were eight.” lie. mark _hates_ fuzzy socks.

“mine listen to iu religiously.” really that one's not wrong.

-

they decide, as a group (minus jaehyun and sicheng) _not_ to tell the company or the managers anything because neither of them have _found_ their soulmates yet. allegedly.

when taeyong stresses on that word, donghyuck forces himself not to sneak a peek at mark. because that's not quite true.

the truth, would be that they haven't _acknowledged_ their soulmates.

but donghyuck nods again, and when jaehyun comes back holding an armful of ice cream, he takes the grape flavour with relish. winwin asks him if he likes it and donghyuck nods.

-

“do you want to switch?” taeil asks, holding out his red-bean flavour. he's a very observant person; and even if donghyuck’s never said it, anyone would know red-bean is his favourite.

“no thanks, hyung,” donghyuck says, waving his little plastic spoon. “i like grape.”

“lie.” but taeil takes it back anyways, poking at the surface somewhat sadly. “i would've liked green tea.”

“so you only took the red-bean for me?” it’s a loaded question. taeil answering _yes_ would mean he admits to donghyuck being his favourite dongsaeng; donghyuck getting that answer would mean he has to talk to taeil.

“yes, i did.” taeil answers simply. “you didn't seem very happy.”

“yeah,” donghyuck kicks at the couch they're sitting on.

taeil takes a small spoonful of ice cream. “howcome?”

-

the thing about taeil, is that he's shitty at comforting. donghyuck can tell him “i’m in love with mark and he won't even look at me.” and taeil would just nod.

he doesn't do that comforting thing where people tell you fake shit to make you feel better. which is comforting in it's own way because you know you're not being lied to and this person is real. but no one likes being told their sad shit is their fault.

especially not donghyuck.

but the good thing about taeil(there's a lot really), is that he listens and he listens well. he doesn't tell anyone about your stupid problems or judge you for it- he just _listens._ he won't tell you what you did wrong or tell you you're looking at it wrong. he listens and he understands to the best of his ability  and if you ask him he'll tell you his opinion on it, but he won't shove it down your throat.

most of the time, donghyuck likes him the best.

-

“are soulmates stupid hyung?" donghyuck asks him, scraping the ice cream off his spoon because he's not gonna like the taste anyways.

“maybe,” taeil says, watching him pop the spoonful into his mouth. “i think the rules associated with them aren’t really fair.”

“yeah?” donghyuck says, moving closer on the couch so he can rest his head on taeil’s shoulder and steal his ice cream more easily.

taeil holds it still for him. “they restrict people and divide them. there is only one person you can be with in your life, and if you have the privilege of meeting them then you’re considered slightly better than the people who haven't. right?”

taeil talks in fullstops, no pauses or commas, uh’s and and’s. donghyuck likes listening to him a lot because of that. he always sounds like he knows what he's going to say.

“i guess.” donghyuck’s poking holes into the ice cream now.

taeil looks around, then looks back to his lap. “they're not bad themselves though. if you think about it, soulmates are a guarantee that someone in this world will make you happy. someone is looking for you and someone wants you. there's people who need that i think.”

“am i one of them?”

“but you've found your soulmate already, hyuck-ah.”

-

on a saturday, mark comes in and asks donghyuck what he's listening to.

donghyuck offers him an earbud, and slowly but surely, mark moves until he's lying on the bottom bunk of donghyuck’s bed beside him, until donghyuck’s shifted to the right all he could to make space for him, until they are pressed shoulder to shoulder, hands between them, listening to iu’s chatshire album.

the song finishes, and the next one starts but mark doesn't move away and donghyuck doesn't mind. they stay like that, slow breaths and occasional shifting, as melon queues up another song, and another one and another one.

it's a single size mattress, two almost grown teenage boys are too big for it now. but they both remember being elementary schoolers and sprawling out on either end, mark’s ipod in between them pumping out bruno mars and justin bieber, chris brown and the killers, paramore and girls’ generation because donghyuck demanded _something_ korean. after school days, in the half an hour they had before practice; donghyuck still has all the lyrics to ‘oh!’ memorized.

sometimes, he catches mark humming ‘brick by brick’ by paramore, surprised he still recognizes it.

but some habits you don’t grow out of. 

like mark+donghyuck+bed=sleep. their feet are on the pillow side and it’s barely dark outside, just past five, but neither of them care. naps are essential, shows of breathing slowed down to soft snores, waking up to shake the hair out of their face, poke the other in the stomach whispering “get up,” even if there’s no one else around.

naps are nice.

-

when yuta pops his head in to call them for dinner, donghyuck gets up immediately, finger to his lips, _hyung don’t wake him._

yuta nods, ever cooperative. donghyuck tiptoes out in the hallway, softly closing the door behind him then leaning against it. his hands are crossed together, nervously twisting behind his back. “hyung, why don't you believe in soulmates?”

“what good do they do for you?” yuta answers back.

and donghyuck doesn't know the answer, not even if he thinks about the boy sleeping past the closed door. “still. they're not horrible.”

“i just don't believe in them, hyuck-ah.” and there it is, ‘donghyuck you're a kid you won't understand adult talk.’ he's been understanding it since he was eight, yuta can shut up.

“i want an answer.” he _knows_ he sounds like a little kid, petty and dumb but he _can't_ help it. he's been frustrated for days and weeks now and he just wants an _answer._ a ‘this is right, this is certain.’ a _promise._

“i just don't think you should be restricted to only one person who you can love and who can love you _,_ and i don't think it's right to be waiting so many years for someone who might not show up. it's like you're given only one chance at life, and-” yuta pauses, running a hand through his hair. “hyuck, the idea of soulmates, the person- whoever it might be, they affect everything you do. subconsciously, in daily life, your morals, just- everything. and it's not like how your parents or friends affect you because you choose to be around them and listen to them or not. but this person- your soulmate, they're in your head. you can't run away from your own thoughts.”

donghyuck looks at him and nods. he understands, of course he does, mark’s been living in his head for half his life. “i know.”

“me too, kid,” yuta says, patting his shoulder. “now c’mon, dinner-time.“

-

the thing about knowing his soulmate so young, is that he can barely remember a time _before_ mark, if there even was one.

he's always been trying to find m-words that fit with the syllables bouncing in his head; he's always been jumping on cracks, stepping wherever he could because something in his head was screaming not to; it's always, always been an always because there's never been anything but mark in his head and his thoughts.

the problem is: donghyuck _likes_ it. he likes mark, in the love way, he likes mark and how mark starts singing off-key whenever donghyuck misses a note or his voice cracks. he likes mark when he's yelling “oh my god!” and laughing in his really high pitch. he likes mark when he raps the verse from dumb dumb and makes it sound cool.

donghyuck just likes mark. in the gross way. in the ‘i want to love you’ way. in the quiet-silent way.

he likes parts of mark in his head and he likes imagining what it'd be like to kiss mark.

not that he'd ever.

-

he thinks about it, because he doesn't have anything to practice for and anything is a good distraction from school. he thinks about it and he thinks, he doesn't mind his entire life's been biased toward mark.

donghyuck’s not an angry person, not the bundle of energy constantly wanting to be free like yuta, not a resentful person, not a quiet person who can see both the good and bad like taeil.

donghyuck’s a sixteen year old who doesn't care about how different his life might've been without a soulmate. because really, three things would happen anyways:  
1.his love for michael jackson.  
2.joining sm entertainment.  
3.his annoyingness.

-

he asks mark.

because he can. they're on the floor of the practice room, mirror to the right and bags dumped haphazardly by it. their uniforms are crumpled up somewhere by the cubbies because the bus they took stopped in front of the building first instead of their dorm.

fluorescent lighting, mark in blonde hair with his roots coming in. leaning forward to tie his shoelaces, donghyuck asks him. “what do you think about soulmates?”

donghyuck looks up at him and mark looks at him for a minute, then says. “i like mine. why?”

-

really, he hasn't thought about being a boy who likes another boy _at all._

it hits him like a splash of cold water in the face on an already cold morning. he feels _raw._ like there's layers being pulled off, like those videos where girls take off fifty layers of foundation by just _pulling,_ the way you peel off the easy dollar store tags and waterbottle skins.

he's _scared_ about his soulmate for the first time ever.

-

mark looks at him for another minute. but donghyuck isn't looking at him anymore  instead he's biting his lip and looking at the floorboards. the pale wood is kinda nice.

then mark takes his hand, says. “i will kill you if you go all tsundere on me right now. and i’m only going to say this once so you better listen.”

donghyuck sneers at the floor.

“i like my soulmate. my soulmate’s name is lee donghyuck and i met him when i was twelve years old. i’ve known his favourite colour longer than i’ve liked him, but i’ve liked him since he had a bad haircut and droopy cheeks. i’ve liked him through all the awkward stages i’ve seen and i’m pretty sure that his existence is proof puberty is hugely in favour of some people-”

donghyuck tugs on his hand. “you're just insulting me right now, skip this part.”

“i’ve liked him through that gross pimple he had on his cheek last week, and even during the time he ate a potato chip off jaehyun hyung’s floor. and when he was being super annoying, which is like every day basically but i’m mother teresa reincarnated so-”

this time he squeezes his nails into skin. “seriously _shut up._ ”

“anyways, even though he's all gross and weird and annoying and basically everything a social outcast is, i leant out a caring hand and made sure he was a part of our society because-”

“if you say ‘out of the goodness of your heart’, i’m autopsying you right here, right now to prove you don't have one. i swear to god mark lee.”

“i genuinely like him.” mark looks at him, with a smile that's not really a smile but it's still something.

donghyuck’s brain short circuits. “like who?”

“jeez, you need to shut up and listen sometimes,” mark says, kicking him with his foot. “i like _you_ dumbass. now say it back.”

“why? so we can fast forward all the dumb anime shit?” donghyuck asks. he really doesn't know what to do.

“you're the dumb anime shit. and i don't wanna get rejected in a sweaty practice room i have to spend all my time in anyways. so, you _have_ to say it back.”

“fine,” donghyuck says hopelessly. “i like you too, dumbass.”

finally, mark smiles. then he starts laughing, hand coming up to cover his pink face because donghyuck won't look at him, and donghyuck is so, _so_ red. his ears, his cheek, his face, down his neck just _everywhere._

“shut up,” he mumbles.

“no.” is all mark says before bursting into another peal of laughter. “how do you even- you look like a lobster!”

“i applaud you and your level two sense of knowing lobsters are red. such a genius mark. so absolutely fully capable.” donghyuck deadpans, wishing death upon him(self).

it doesn't matter. a couple minutes later mark’s pulling his fingers away from his face and _kissing_ him.

it's kinda _exactly_ how donghyuck imagined, their hands are tangled together and mark’s lips are soft and it's quiet and nice. mark tastes like the tube of blueberry flavoured lipbalm jaemin gave him a while ago, and he smells like clean clothes and outside and his nose is tickling donghyuck’s cheek and - it's really, really nice.

 

**Author's Note:**

> there's this markhyuck compilation part 2 video on youtube and it makes me emo so s/o to whoever made that.


End file.
